Adventures

So, as many of you who are on the East Coast know, last weekend we had our first really nice weekend and I like to think that Sebastian and I took full advantage. First, on Saturday morning I'm happy to report that I FINALLY put Sebastian's crib together. Yup, at 10 and a half months he now has a bed all his own: You'll have to forgive the blurry pic, he was actually jumping up and down. But don't be fooled- he actually really hates the crib and refuses to sleep there at night. I'm mentally preparing myself for letting him "cry it out" this coming weekend so that I can hopefully train him to sleep on his own.
On Sunday we had a great day walking around. We went down the bike path to a nice little park near the house and Sebastian had a grand time on the swing. When the swing was moving he was all smiles but I couldn't a pic of him smiling that wasn't totally blurry! He LOVES the swing. I can't wait til he can enjoy other things at the park too (he's a little TOO little for everything else). Saturday evening Chris came by and he, Victor, Sebastian and I got ice cream sundaes from Friendly's (Peanut Butter Cup Sundaes of course!). What could be better on a gorgeous day? Nothing, that's what!
Not a very exciting post this time (are they ever?) but I'll leave you w/ a pic of my little rocker in his CBGB's shirt, courtesy of my ex-roomie Heather: Hope everyone enjoyed the sun as much as we did!!

Sickness

Basher and I have been sick. First me, now him.
It started last Tuesday. I woke up with what I was sure was strep throat- fever, nausea, and of course, my throat hurt like a bitch. For anyone who I've talked to semi-regularly, you'll know this is like the 10th time this year that I've been sick. I'm afraid that my work is starting to think I'm faking it so I don't have to come in! Anyways... blah, blah, I went to the doctors (my ob-gyn, because I don't have a primary care doc!) who also thought I had strep but turns out it was just a bad respiratory virus. (God, I'm exiting!! You guys must be on the edge of your seats looking for new blogs from me!)
I could not believe my luck that Victor AND Sebastian both seemed to avoid the illness. Silly me. Yesterday morning I knew as soon as I touched Sebastian that he had a fever- he was burning up! Sure enough, I checked his temp (w/ the good ole rectal thermometer that he loves so much) and it was 102.2! Took him to the doctor (yeah, they're actually open Sunday mornings) and sure enough, same thing that I had. Doc said lots of fluids and keep giving him tylenol. Fever typically lasts 3 days. It was so sad. Sebastian is a trooper- he actually handles being sick better than I do. He was still smiling and playing with his toys- just much less energetic than usual. Poor little guy. I'm all paranoid because my ex-coworker sent me an e-mail last week saying how her son started having seizures due to high fever and was paralyzed on his left side for a while. How scary is that?! I kept waking up last night in a panic expecting to find my kid convulsing next to me. Hopefully this will all be over soon.
In other news, I finally got that crib from IKEA. My lovely friend Chris was kind enough to help me- again, and thankfully we went on Saturday- right smack in between my sickness and Sebastian's. I also sold the cradle/bassinet yesterday- so now I have some much-needed space and some extra cash- score. Now I've just got to put the new crib together...

Birthday Party: To have or to have not???

So little Basher is almost 10 months old; the big 0-1 looms just around the corner. I WANT to have a birthday party for him, but we've got a few problems to contend with:
First is the issue of venue. My place is out unless people want to be falling all over each other. It is teeny-tiny and over-flowing with our abundance of crap. I could rent out a space, but that's pretty pricey or I could see if a generous friend or family member could play host, but that brings me to the next problem- people who can't get along.
As many of you know, I do not speak to my father, but I have struggled to maintain some sort of relationship with his family. I would like to invite them all to the party, but that will be wierd because my dad won't be included and also because SOME of those family members have a lot of awkwardness w/ my mom. If I invite one of them I've got to invite them all (minus my dad, they know I don't talk to him) so that could be an issue. On the other side, Victor's mom has never met my mom and does not know that she is a lesbian. I am in no way ashamed of my mom and if Victor's mother were at all a reasonable person I would have disclosed this to her long ago, but trust me- it would cause more trouble than it's worth. Needless to say my mom's place is out in terms of hosting.
Then there is Victor and my cousing Katie who had an altercation at my baby shower and now intensely hate each other. I'm hoping they will both behave if there is a birthday party, and I think they will, but for this reason Katie's place is out.
I'm inclined to say "fuck it" to everyone who doesn't get along. They can all suck it up for Sebastian's first birthday party or not come. At some point I need to stop worrying about all this crap. But that still leaves the problem of where we would have this shindig.
You're probably thinking, "just give it up!", and maybe I should, but I really, really wanted to have a birthday party for him. *sigh* I've got a little over 2 months to try and put something together...

Stupid car!

So my car's been making noise. I figured it was the muffler because on my last car when it got noisy this was the problem. I brought my car to Midas Tuesday night to have the muffler checked. Yesterday morning they called to say that the muffler looks great, but that my car was due for it's 42k mile maintanance. I gave them approval to do this for around $300. An hour later they called to inform me that I need new brake pads, etc. for another $500. I want to keep my car in good shape, so I sadly agreed. Last night I picked up my car, $800 in the hole but proud of myself for being a responsible automobile owner and doing necessary maintanance. THE CAR WAS MAKING THE SAME NOISE!!! I don't know why I thought the noise would go away. They made it sound like they were checking everything on the car so, being dumb, I thought that whatever it was making my car noisy would get fixed. WRONG!
I got home so upset, and of course, Victor started over-reacting and treating me like an idiot for paying all that money and not even fixing the problem. I responded to this by throwing and kicking things and storming out of the house (nothing like a grown woman having a full blown temper tantrum!).
Long story short- I took the car back to Midas today and insisted that the guy drive my car around so that he can hear the noise (at this point I was thinking maybe I was going crazy and my car's not really making bad noises at all- or maybe I was just hoping that was the case). He did hear the noise and looked at my car again to find that the right wheel rotor is loose. To fix this will be another $600!! But, it needs to be done. So I left my car there AGAIN and am now $1400 in the hole. Goodbye tax return... it was nice having you for a while and not always scrambling for money. Eh- I guess I should be counting my blessings that I got that tax refund at all or else I'd be up shit's creek right now trying to find a way to pay for these repairs.
That's basically what my week has been like. Tomorrow I'm taking the day off to bring Sebastian to the doctor's and... wait for it... run errands! Woo Hoo! At least I'll get to spend some time with my boys (Sebastian and Victor).

The wonderful world of IKEA

So today for the first time ever I went to IKEA with my dear friend Chris. I drove for an hour to get there with a crying baby, but when I arrived felt it was totally worth it. I've never been big on super-stores- I'm all for pulling for the little guy- but I'm sorry, IKEA is nothing short of fabulous. They have great stuff. For cheap. And a mother-fucking cafeteria! And a play area for kids! But the thing is that their products actually are really cool and cute and nice. Damn. I sound like a commercial.
Moving on... I found a great little crib for Sebastian at a more than reasonable price and I bought it- ecstatic that he, at long last, would have his own bed. But, of course, the box just would not fit in my car with the carseat there. So Chris and I, and the baby, had to make our way all the way back into the store and return the crib. I'll have to try to find a sitter so that I can go back for it. I swear, you can never have enough foresight once you have a child. I'm slowly beginning to catch on to the fact that you just kind of have to roll with the punches and assume that you're NOT going to get whatever you're set out to do done with a child in tow, especially an infant or toddler (Sebastian's kind of in-between the two right now I think).
But back to my ad for IKEA, I can't wait until I get a bigger place where Sebastian and I can have our own rooms and I can decorate them both- that will be so much fun! I've actually been inspired to get off of my lazy ass and put together a really great room for him. I started having visions of moving into a place that I can paint and making murals in his room with all kinds of cute lights and furniture. They had little mini kid tents- how awesome is that?
The other thing I'm starting to learn is that having a kid, in some small way, lets you re-live childhood. Note I said a small way, because at the end of the day I'm exhausted with a huge headache and have to go to work tomorrow... oh well!

Being thankful

I spend a lot, and I mean a lot of time feeling sorry for myself these days. I never have any time to myself... ever, it's hard to stay in touch with friends, I have to spend way too much time in my shithole apartment while the person I'm reluctantly still in love with goes out every other night to do who-knows-what. It sucks.
But, on this other website where I post I was reading about a young mother, not unlike myself, whose baby died of SIDS at 17 days old. She posted pictures of her beautiful baby girl who didn't even really get a chance at life. It profoundly affects me even to think about. When I saw her photos I was moved to tears with an intesity that I have never felt for something that did not directly affect my life or those close to me. I have been thinking about this woman and her baby for days and it very literally hurts my heart to think about. For all my complaining, for all the tears I shed and pity-parties I throw for myself, I really am very lucky. At the risk of sounding like the most cheeseball cliche mom ever, Sebastian really is a gift. He is this perfect little person with such a huge personality already. I'm exhausted and often times depressed, but this little boy is a part of me and if I didn't have him I would be completely destroyed.
SO, the next time I'm feeling sorry for myself feel free to give me a virtual smack upside my head (or a real smack if you see me in real life) and remind me that I have the sweetest, most kick-ass son. ever.
Here are some of the latest Basher picks:

"What?!" You say? "He's crawling already? He can't be!" Oh, but he can, and he is. He's also already pulling himself up onto things and standing up. Getting dangerously close to walking. Mama's not ready for this stage!!!

Here he goes with the tongue sticking out. This boy's favorite thing is to stick his tongue out, but it's just so damn cute! Wait til I snap a pick of him doing his old man face!

And finally I had to add one with a smile... couldn't resist. See? Told ya he was the cutest!

My first post!!

So I have finally gone and gotten myself a blog. I figured that with my 9-month-old son and full time job that I don't have enough to do, so here I am... At the very least I hope for this to be a way to stay connected to the world and to share my adventures in motherhood, etc.
Just yesterday I stumbled upon a website that I created when I was 17 years old and sporadically maintained throughout my college years. I was equally nostalgic and totally embarrassed looking back at all the silly little things I had to write about. Forgotten feelings all came rushing back to me... how cool to have a record of that out there!
With this blog I want to attempt to chronicle my feelings and experiences with Sebastian as he grows up both so that I can look back on it, and so that I can one day show it to him.
These days I can't believe how fast the boy is growing. In the past two weeks he has gone from basically being immobile to crawling all over the place and being able to stand pull himself into the standing position. WTF? He's making more noises every day that come increasingly closer to resembling words (He says "Bababababa", "Dadadadada", and "Mamamamama"). He's still sleeping in bed with me- with no rails- so I live in fear that he's going to take a nose-dive off the bed. This weekend I'm making my first ever trip to IKEA to purchase a crib (I know... it's about damn time). It's been nice- and easy- to have him in the bed... but just not do-able anymore.
Ok, I'm going to stop for now, but I hope to expand this blog and make it better- maybe even entertaining to read!